How Africa helped me overcome my fears

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall"

- Nelson Mandela

It seems fitting to start this post off with a quote by Nelson Mandela because I've spent the last couple of weeks in South Africa. And boy, has it been one huge learning experience! I truly feel incredibly grateful to have had this opportunity not just because I've always wanted to visit Africa and because I love traveling (although I'd be lying if I said this wasn't one of my best traveling experiences). But this trip eventually ended up being something a lot more for me.

I've always had a rather idealistic outlook on life. Everything was always black and white and since I was a kid, I had this ridiculous idea that life would be all smooth sailing. I would call it optimism but looking back at it, it was definitely closer to naiveté because I had absolutely no clue what I was talking about. And then life happened. Just like everyone else, I soon realized that life had its fair share of struggles and rarely did things always pan out the way you thought they would. I responded to this epiphany the way any logical person would. I started to put up walls around me to protect myself from these struggles as best as I could. After all, once bitten, twice shy right? It all made perfect sense until one day (which was really only about a week and a half ago), a simple realization in Africa changed everything: I wasn't just protecting myself from the struggles of life. I was protecting myself from all of life.

There's this thing about struggles. They can be a huge catalyst for self growth; but only if you let them. It's the easiest thing in the world to be bitter. Bitter about a job you tried so hard for but never got. Bitter about not getting accepted to the college of your dreams. Bitter about that relationship that didn't work out. Bitter about your friendships not living up to their true potential. But to go through all that and still NOT be bitter, now that's a testimony of true strength. To live life without inhibitions, to face your fears and insecurities, and to constantly challenge yourself in both big and small ways. That's courage.

How did I come to this realization? Some of it was introspection but a lot of it was actually being inspired by the amazing people I met in South Africa. I was in Durban for a conference but then took a week after that to travel around South Africa a bit on my own. Best decision ever. I stayed in youth hostels and came across some of the most inspiring, free-spirited people I've ever met. There was Josh, a 25-year old guy from Melbourne, Australia who was studying to be a pilot and also sold timber on the side. He was following the Formula One race all around the world for 8.5 months and had been saving up for this trip for 2 years. Why? Because he wanted to. There was Ross, a South African guy I met on the plane who had gotten stabbed in his own home 3 months ago and still didn't have a trace of bitterness or hatred towards those that attacked him. Then, there was Jessica, a 19-year old German girl who didn't speak English very well but still had the guts to leave her country for the first time and travel all the way to South Africa for a volunteer trip on her own. There was Mike, an American, who was working at a different hostel in South Africa after every few months just to experience something different. Phil, a family doctor from Montreal, who had seen almost every inch of the world and was still raring to go. Karim and Sara, a couple from Italy, with the warmest smiles and the most infectious laughter. Juan, a guy from Spain who had been traveling by himself for 11 months and still said "There's so much that I haven't seen yet!". Benny and Michael, two German guys, who showed up in South Africa for 3 weeks with virtually no planning. We joked and laughed like we were the best of friends and they made my last day in South Africa one of the most memorable ones. I'm sure I'm forgetting a bunch of other people but everyone I met exuded a quality that I greatly admired. They all challenged themselves in different ways, some big and some small, but the important part was that they challenged themselves. They stepped out of their comfort zones and chose to do things that were different. They chose to embrace life in all its entirety.

Phil, Jessica and I (not pictured) hiking to the edge of Cape Point

Karim, Sara, Juan, me, Geoff and Jared (our guide) at Kruger National Park. The 50 jumping pictures Karim, Sara, Juan, and I took prior to this shot have been left out intentionally.

Michael and Benny in Johannesburg. It's pretty easy to tell which one of us only had one cup of coffee that day.

And the best part is that as soon as I started noticing these qualities in other people, I also began to notice them in myself. I began to challenge myself in small ways: renting a car in a foreign country and driving on the other side of the road, embracing my independence by going on long hikes in Africa by myself, interacting with strangers and developing new friendships, sleeping in tents instead of lodges, trying out new cuisine, stepping out of my comfort zone and appreciating joy in the small things in life. Once I consciously stopped fear from controlling the small aspects of my life, it was like a whole new world opened up to me in an incredibly liberating way. I didn't do anything earth-shattering or oddly courageous but every experience I had added a little something to my personality (and, to my life) and helped me understand that we are all so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for. And that every event in life, whether positive or negative, is ultimately this amazing opportunity for growth.

All my wonderful little experiences and interactions ended up amounting to one big (albeit simple) motto: To embrace everything. To embrace love. To embrace struggle. To embrace laughter. To embrace opportunities. To embrace life. To embrace people.

And most importantly, to embrace myself.

Also, I need to go back to South Africa because this country is amazing.